What NOT to say to DJ's

And yes, I've heard every single one of these... - Denny

PLAY SOMETHING GOOD? SOMETHING WE CAN DANCE TO! The DJ has to play for more than one person, so what YOU hate may be another's favorite song, and everything played can be danced to, one way or another.

WOULD YOU PLAY SOMETHING WITH A "BEAT"? What song do you know that doesn't have a beat???

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANNA HEAR?WHAT DO YOU HAVE? It's a lot easier for you to go have another beer and figure out what you want to hear than it is for the DJ to recite the name of every song in the booth.

HEY, MAN, NOBODY CAN DANCE TO THIS! It is not advisable to say this when the dance floor is packed (but some people do anyway). However, if there is only one person on the floor, it still contradicts the statement.

EVERYBODY WANTS TO HEAR IT! Oh sure, you polled everyone in the club, and as their spokesperson, you're requesting the song.

EVERYBODY WILL DANCE IF YOU PLAY IT! The DJ won't. Guess that blows a hole in that theory!

I CAN GET LAID IF YOU PLAY IT! Why settle for one night? Buy the album and get laid for a whole month!

I WANT TO HEAR IT NEXT! The only people who can get away with that statement PAY the DJ. And that's not ALWAYS true in that case, either!

I DON'T KNOW WHO SINGS IT, AND I DON'T KNOW THE NAME OF THE SONG, BUT IT GOES LIKE THIS? Please don't sing for the DJ. They have to put up with smoke-filled rooms and dangerous decibel levels all night. Do them a favor and spare them your rendition of your favorite song!

-BY JANET HAROLD